At some point I made up a lie that writing isn’t worthwhile. My limiting mind tells me I should be doing more important and productive things with my time.
I’ve always known myself to be hard working. I actually remember the moment when I was 14 years old when I had to decide between being in our school’s musical or working an after-school job. I chose the job because I thought I would be more productive working than performing. Yeah, can you believe a teenager would rather work?!
Now, even on a weekend when all I want to do is write, I end up checking my work emails, cleaning my house, or doing anything to avoid writing. Even as I write this, I’ve responded to multiple emails and continue to distract myself.
Do you also avoid your creative side because it doesn’t feel worthwhile and you should be doing something more productive instead? Let’s keep digger deeper.
I stopped performing because I didn’t get the part in the musical that I really wanted. That was when I told myself that I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t a good enough performer, singer or dancer. I felt vulnerable, exposed, and completely disappointed in myself.
What is your “I’m not (insert here) enough?”
Getting a job was a way for me to show the world that I could be good at something. And I proved that to myself by working really hard. The affirmation I got from my bosses and family, helped me avoid feelings of self-doubt.
We constantly make decisions to avoid and protect ourselves. All these years I’ve been pretending to be a certain way, avoiding my creative self-expression and ultimately hiding from the world. This has kept me “safe” but really disconnected from people and myself.
Uncovering all of this has provided me with so much freedom to explore my creativity.
How do I know that writing is for me? Because this is what I long to do. I love going to coffee shops for hours, reflecting on my life and writing about my fears and breakthroughs. Even on a month-long vacation, I spent EVERY single day writing. I now have over 15 journals filled with my writings and so many thoughts I want to share.
Spending my time writing is an extension of who I am. Writing is my expression and I can finally claim my creativity. I am learning to trust that writing is a way I meant to express myself.
It is absolutely necessary that we prioritize our time doing what we love and give ourselves permission and freedom to create. Expressing ourselves is worth it! Every moment we connect to our creative selves is not only worthwhile, but essential to living an authentic life.
Today I am in a coffee shop and feel a sense of freedom write my heart’s desire. I can let go of self-doubt and truly embrace my self-expression. When I do what I am meant to do, I just feel happier! I am not only (hopefully) impacting you with my writing, but I get to show up a more empowered version of who I am.