I am visiting a Balinese Spiritual Healer in Ubud. I am sitting on the floor in a little room with an altar, flowers, and incense. The healer asked only a few questions, but finds his wisdom from somewhere greater than himself. He says I am healthy overall but he is worried about my heart. That I need to open up the energy in my heart chakra and bring in more love for myself. Man, he nailed it!
I have been working on self-love for years. It’s probably my deepest and most important work.
I do love myself. Well, at least I like myself– most of the time! But ever since I was a child I have judged myself for a variety of imperfections. I am not pretty enough. I am not thin enough. I am not smart enough. I am not popular enough….. and on and on it goes.
This self-judgment and lack of self-love continues to impact me. As someone who has an accommodating personality, I tend to focus on what I think people want me to do, rather than what is truly important to me. I alter my behaviors in order to “look good” to people and to ultimately be loved.
This way of being impacts all areas of my life: relationships, friendships, career, and also impacts how I look, dress, and what I say (or don’t say). Worrying about what other people think can be quite exhausting. It takes away my vitality for life and doesn’t allow me to be fully self-expressed.
“Believe in yourself! Trust yourself! Love yourself!” the healer exclaims!
Loving myself is an ongoing practice and commitment to empowering thoughts. That means loving all of me and truly accepting that I am perfectly imperfect. Easier said than done, right?? One by one, I let go of disempowering thoughts I have about myself. I let go of the pain, the hurt, and the loneliness. I breathe love in and release each thought over and over again.
Loving myself is an ongoing practice of taking empowering actions. As I make choices throughout my day, I ask myself, “What would provide me with the greatest amount of love?” I do this before I decide what eat, how to organize my day, or deciding when to sleep. When I truly love myself, I take actions that are supportive and fulfilling.
I’m sure there is more to uncover and more depths to reach. I do know that it’s only though love that we can embody and sustain love.
The healer continued with his healing rituals to open up my heart. I felt more open and enlivened. As I left, he gave me a hug and firmly said, “Remember to be confident, patient, and focus on you!”